Virginity Restoration = Essential Quality?
Hymenoplasty attracted media attention last month in France as a court annulled a marriage on the basis of a husband’s complaint that his wife had falsely promised that she was a virgin – a confession he obtained after furiously waving the new couple’s spotless bedclothes before still-celebrating wedding guests (which is in itself a horrible tradition). The court ruling infuriated everyone from Muslim clergy to feminists, and gynecologists themselves.
Well not only did the husband complain that his wife was not honest towards him, but he also claimed a breach of contract on the grounds that virginity was an ‘essential quality’ of the woman he chose to marry. It sounds too much like having discovered a flaw in the product he was buying. But for whatever he meant, he was quite right about dishonesty. Baha’u'llah Himself answers a question about virginity as a condition for marriage with these words: “The unfulfilled condition invalidateth that which is conditioned upon it.” But then he adds: “However, to conceal and forgive the matter will, in the sight of God, merit a bounteous reward.” That did not happen here… Marriage must not start with lies but be built upon trust and honesty.
Some Muslim clergy were outraged insisting that Islam does not demand virginity as a precondition for marriage, and claimed that the ruling belied the judge’s archaic misunderstanding of the faith and its tenets (I will not touch on the topic of secularism vs theocracy this time). Boy they were wrong. It takes only a second to find relevant verses from the Qur’an.
“And go not nigh to fornication; surely it is an indecency and an evil way.” (17:32)“The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.” (24:2)
The second quotation is particularly interesting because it shows how Baha’u'llah’s commandment to ‘conceal and forgive the matter’ is an evolution of the Islamic tenet.
The French gynecological organization condemned the practice as a ’submission to the intolerance of the past’. Bioethicist Alta Charo squirms over the idea of hymen repair but then says we ought to “put it in the larger context of how far women will go to make themselves marriageable and sexually attractive.” Just what will secular, modern women do to fit their own cultural stereotypes — breast implant, anyone? What will they do to stay employable — face-lift, anyone?”
The procedure has become more common and still other commentators note that this reflects the growing emancipation of women from tradition-rooted communities. Quite ironic though as after having ‘emancipated’ they throw themselves back into traditions.
But this whole big mess had already been solved gloriously by Muhammad with the simple commandment that fornication is not a possibility. We should just simply not have sex before marriage. It feels as though the grey clouds of virginity restoration that were covering my mental sky were cleared by His words. It’s so simple yet solves so many problems. This is also why I refrain from addressing more issues that are related to this topic. It’s enough and thank you God for restrictions.
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